Who Does Captain America Need To Punch?

by RFP

When Captain America debuted in December 1940 (a year before Pearl Harbor and America officially joined the war), he was shown on the cover of the premiere issue of Captain America Comics punching Adolph Hitler in the face.

America was completely un-PC in the 1940s when it came to matters of war.

Daffy Duck was shown in cartoons smashing Hitler over the head with a hammer. Bugs Bunny tangled with Japanese soldiers. Batman and Superman pimped the purchase of war bonds and stamps on the covers of their comics.

I really wish America was still like that sometimes. We're so careful about offending each other these days. All it takes is two people writing a nasty letter and the entire nation has to be bent and shaped to match the wishes of those two people.

Wouldn't it have been great to see Spongebob throw dynamite down Kim Jong Il's pants? Who wouldn't want to see Captain America bounce his shield off Osama Bin Laden's nasty bearded face?

Everyone apparently.

The only cartoon characters to respond to the attacks of the Taliban after 9/11 were Stewie Griffin and Toby Keith. That's shameful really. An attack on America in one of the world's most famous cities and we can't even show the Powerpuff Girls tossing some al Queda into a tarpit or something.

Maybe my ideas are wild. Certainly there are some drawbacks to rampant propaganda. A lot of times the posters and cartoons of the '40s crossed a line, turning enemy soldiers, particularly the Japanese, into inhuman monsters.

However. A person like a Hitler or an Osama Bin Laden really cannot be turned into more a monster than they are/were in real life.

At any rate, there is a whole list of people that deserve to be socked in the face by Captain America these days. And not a calm, rational Captain America either. A Captain America who has just had a flashback to The Big One and is battle-ready and out of his mind.

I'm going to list a couple of people that I think the Living Embodiment of Freedom should punch in the jaw and I'm hoping that you, the reader, add your suggestions in the comments section.

1. Osama Bin Laden - I mean, obviously.

2. Carl Henric-Svanberg - the chairman of BP. He didn't cause the oil spill in the Gulf, but someone needs to be held responsible. Especially with all the half ass clean-up and containment attempts.

Those are two obvious ones. I am looking for some of your ideas. So again, list the people you would like to see get punched by Captain America in the comments. In the meantime, have a great 4th of July, give thanks to all the men and women in the military who have kept America free, and also buy war bonds and stamps.